1st session

Sis went for the chemotherapy yesterday. 1 round consist of 6 sessions. Each session after chemo will need to rest up to 3-4 weeks depending on her physique, to get well for the next session. She is quite frail in that matter. She needs 2 booster jabs instead of the normal 1 jab for the treatment.

I know she's trembling with fear a few days before that. Worry about the side effects specially the nausea & hair loss etc. What I can do at that point is to keep assuring her that everything's gonna be alright.. sigh..

I rushed home after work to see how is she. I saw there're 2 plasters on her chest, 1 left, 1 right. The right one was turning blue black. The doctor in charge couldn't locate the veins to inject the needle for the drug to enter the bloodstream as they're so fine that he accidentally punctured a tiny hole into her lung! What a fucked up doc! How to sue him! I hope there's no harm done! No choice had to inject the drug on the spot above her left chest where it's still recovering from the operation.

She's now carrying a little pouch at her waist, inside a little machine with tube attached straight to her chest that will inject the medicine into the veins, bit by bit over a span of 3 days.
J saw the plasters and kept wanting to touch or press them. I'm so worried he might accidentally pull tube or something. Had to keep pulling him away or reminding him not to go near her. He just don't understand why I keep doing tat..

The side effect of nausea kicked in today. She just keep feeling unbearable discomfort and keep tearing.. It just pains me to see her walking ever so slow and all hunched up. She don't even have much strength to cough cos it was so uncomfortable and painful. We all tried not to fuss over her & act as normal as we can.

I really don't know how to make her feel better except to give her words of encouragement and distractions. She worries all her hair will fall out, including eyebrows, lashes & other parts. And also her nails.. Cos the medicine will coarse through every part of the veins, to kill off the cancer cells but at the same time, even the white & red blood cells too.

I said 1 down, 5 more to go.. Look forward to complete the sessions, achieve the target & don't look back. Determination & perseverance will pull you through, don't worry or think about anything else for now. Maybe my sis must be thinking, so easy for me to say.. But this is what I can think of right now..

I'm not trying to dampen everybody's mood here by saying how miserable I feel by describing my sister's current situation. There's a reason why I decided to block my blog from the public so that I can have a outlet. A outlet of my feelings. This is my blog, I should be able to write whether I'm happy or sad or frustrated or depressed. I know my sister might feel uneasy reading my outburst, so I've never offer her to read my posts. Maybe when she's completed all her sessions, she might be ready to read them. Too bad I can't put password for just 1 post.. I'll just have to show her pictures of Jared on my computer liao..

I've uploaded other pictures, will get down to them right away..